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【哈皮】英文搞笑 翻译残暴~~

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1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。 后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。 于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。


1楼2013-08-19 21:31回复
    2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming a nd yelling like the passengers in his car.
    我希望能像爷爷那样,安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样死法啊!


    2楼2013-08-19 21:34
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      3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
      你永远不能战胜一个纯ѕB,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你。


      3楼2013-08-19 21:35
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        4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
        直译:在这个世界上,我最不愿意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列。
        意译a:我真不想伤害你,但你也别逼我。
        意译b:吾虽不杀伯仁,伯仁由我而死。


        4楼2013-08-19 21:36
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          5、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
          a. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫!晚到的老鼠有奶酪!
          b. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃,早起的虫儿被鸟吃。


          5楼2013-08-19 21:36
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            6、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the po1ice.
            在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警丅察来的快.


            6楼2013-08-19 21:36
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              7、 Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help ѕmiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
              有些人就像 Slinkies (弹簧玩具),没什么实在用处,但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。


              7楼2013-08-19 21:37
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                8、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
                政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是:他们都很有规律地被替换,而且因为同一个理由——脏了!!


                8楼2013-08-19 21:37
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                  9、War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
                  战争不能决出正义,但能判出哪方出局。


                  9楼2013-08-19 21:37
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                    10、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
                    我们永远不可能真正的成熟,我们只是学会在众人面前装逼。


                    10楼2013-08-19 21:38
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                      11、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
                      光总是比声音跑的快点….这就是为嘛有些ѕB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B…


                      11楼2013-08-19 21:38
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                        12、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
                        曾以为我想要的是职业,结果发现我只是想要工资。


                        12楼2013-08-19 21:39
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                          13、If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
                          你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~


                          13楼2013-08-19 21:39
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                            14、Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
                            晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头,再告诉你你为什么好不了。


                            14楼2013-08-19 21:40
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                              15、How is it one carelesѕ match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
                              一根火柴能点着整片森林,一盒火柴也生不起个营火,这咋回事!


                              15楼2013-08-19 21:40
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